Hey there, this is Mat Boggs, creator of Cracking the Man Code, author of Project Everlasting, and today I want to talk to you about a weird little principle that will help you meet your man. And this is counterintuitive because this principle I’m going to talk about is how to reject somebody you’re not interested in. Now, why would this be important in meeting you man?
Because the path to meet your man, the path to being in the relationship that you want, is through the dating process, is by going out with people, giving people a chance. And, inevitably, when you give people a chance, you’re going to meet some people who are just not a great fit for you and you’re going to have to reject them. You’re going to be rejected by other people who you’re not a good fit for them until you end up meeting that person that it just clicks, feels amazing, and there’s tons of chemistry. One of my coaching clients literally two days ago said, “Gosh, I feel like I don’t want to go out with these guys or give them a chance because what if I end up rejecting them?
I hate that part of it. I hate making someone feel bad. I hate, you know, turning them down and seeing that look in their face, or even online turning them down.” And so we worked on a way that she could re-frame how she’s rejecting somebody to free herself up to have the liberty and freedom to go on more dates. Because when you go on more dates you give yourself more chances and more opportunities to find a great love story, great relationship. So I’m going to give you two ways that you can let a guy down – reject him – that is the kindest, easiest way to let a guy down.
But first, let me just explain why this is so important. Because if you’re afraid of rejecting someone, then you’re not going to go out with a lot of guys who, at first glance, they look like, “Eh, I might end up rejecting this guy,” but you go out with him and he’s amazing. This guy blows your socks off, so “He’s everything you never knew you always wanted,” to quote a line from Fools Rush In one of my favorite movies. So you’re going to end up going out on more dates, you won’t be afraid to disappoint them, and you’re able to reject them in the kindest, most humane way possible. So here’s the key: Men respect people who are honest and who are direct.
So when you’re rejecting someone, you want to be honest, you want to be direct, and you want to be absolute. Let me explain. You know, a lot of women, they like to dance around the topic. They like to hint at things. Well, let me be clear.
Men don’t speak hint. And dancing around the topic letting a guy down easy actually creates more pain than just being honest, being direct, and being absolute. What do I mean by “being absolute?” What I mean is don’t give him specific traits or reasons why you don’t think it’s a good fit or you don’t feel chemistry or you don’t like him.
You know, don’t say to the guy, “Well, I just don’t think we’re a good fit because I’m really not into bass fishing and I’m really not that into Harleys.” What happens psychologically for a guy (whether you write him back online or whether it’s face to face) when he hears why you don’t like him, instantly that becomes a challenge that he can overcome. And is he really likes you, he’s going to do everything he can to either convince you you like Harleys and fishing or change his ways to become the person you want and you don’t even want to open that can of worms. So there is one thing that nobody can argue when it comes to calling it quits and ending kind of the dating experience. It is absolute. And that is that you just don’t feel the chemistry.
You just don’t feel chemistry with this person. So here are two ways that you can reject a man. One of them is if you’re talking to a guy online, the other one is if you’ve gone out with a guy and it’s face to face on a date. So, if you’re online, all you have to say is, “Hey, thanks so much for contacting me. I’m flattered but I don’t really feel we are a good fit, so you sound like you’re a great guy and I’m wishing you all the best.
Hey there, this is Mat Boggs, creator of Cracking the Man Code, author of Project Everlasting, and today I want to talk to you about a weird little principle that will help you meet your man. And this is counterintuitive because this principle I’m going to talk about is how to reject somebody you’re not interested in. Now, why would this be important in meeting you man?
Because the path to meet your man, the path to being in the relationship that you want, is through the dating process, is by going out with people, giving people a chance. And, inevitably, when you give people a chance, you’re going to meet some people who are just not a great fit for you and you’re going to have to reject them. You’re going to be rejected by other people who you’re not a good fit for them until you end up meeting that person that it just clicks, feels amazing, and there’s tons of chemistry. One of my coaching clients literally two days ago said, “Gosh, I feel like I don’t want to go out with these guys or give them a chance because what if I end up rejecting them?
I hate that part of it. I hate making someone feel bad. I hate, you know, turning them down and seeing that look in their face, or even online turning them down.” And so we worked on a way that she could re-frame how she’s rejecting somebody to free herself up to have the liberty and freedom to go on more dates. Because when you go on more dates you give yourself more chances and more opportunities to find a great love story, great relationship. So I’m going to give you two ways that you can let a guy down – reject him – that is the kindest, easiest way to let a guy down.
But first, let me just explain why this is so important. Because if you’re afraid of rejecting someone, then you’re not going to go out with a lot of guys who, at first glance, they look like, “Eh, I might end up rejecting this guy,” but you go out with him and he’s amazing. This guy blows your socks off, so “He’s everything you never knew you always wanted,” to quote a line from Fools Rush In one of my favorite movies. So you’re going to end up going out on more dates, you won’t be afraid to disappoint them, and you’re able to reject them in the kindest, most humane way possible. So here’s the key: Men respect people who are honest and who are direct.
So when you’re rejecting someone, you want to be honest, you want to be direct, and you want to be absolute. Let me explain. You know, a lot of women, they like to dance around the topic. They like to hint at things. Well, let me be clear.
Men don’t speak hint. And dancing around the topic letting a guy down easy actually creates more pain than just being honest, being direct, and being absolute. What do I mean by “being absolute?” What I mean is don’t give him specific traits or reasons why you don’t think it’s a good fit or you don’t feel chemistry or you don’t like him.
You know, don’t say to the guy, “Well, I just don’t think we’re a good fit because I’m really not into bass fishing and I’m really not that into Harleys.” What happens psychologically for a guy (whether you write him back online or whether it’s face to face) when he hears why you don’t like him, instantly that becomes a challenge that he can overcome. And is he really likes you, he’s going to do everything he can to either convince you you like Harleys and fishing or change his ways to become the person you want and you don’t even want to open that can of worms. So there is one thing that nobody can argue when it comes to calling it quits and ending kind of the dating experience. It is absolute. And that is that you just don’t feel the chemistry.
You just don’t feel chemistry with this person. So here are two ways that you can reject a man. One of them is if you’re talking to a guy online, the other one is if you’ve gone out with a guy and it’s face to face on a date. So, if you’re online, all you have to say is, “Hey, thanks so much for contacting me. I’m flattered but I don’t really feel we are a good fit, so you sound like you’re a great guy and I’m wishing you all the best.
Take care.” It’s a great email. It’s direct, it’s to the point, it’s confident, and you’re wishing them well. You’re being a respectful, open, honest person. Here’s how to reject somebody in person. Let’s say you’ve gone out on a date, you’re not really feeling it with this guy, but you can tell that he’s going to ask you out for a second date.
You can simply say, “Hey, I really appreciate going out with you tonight, but unfortunately, I’m not really feeling the romantic chemistry. You’re an amazing guy. I know you’re going to meet someone really special and I’m wishing you all the best.” That’s all you need to say. It’s that simple.
So take these with you, understand that it’s just part of the game. Everybody gets rejected. It’s no big deal.
You’re going to reject people, people are going to reject you, but you’re all going to live on to date another day, and ultimately you’re going to find that special someone and create an extraordinary relationship. So I hope this has been valuable for you. Just remember: Be direct, be honest, and be absolute.
As always, there are links below this video for more resources to help you attract love into your life. If you’re not subscribed to the channel, make sure that you get subscribed. Thanks for watching.
I‘ll see you soon.