Eighth – Carlton
“Robbie Williams just posted your column about Michael Voss with a poop emoji,” my partner told me last September. Excuse me? I really need a new kind of work. Robbie hasn’t had a decent song since ‘She’s The One’, but he had a point: Voss and his Blues have fooled a lot of us.
Last September, the prospect of a Collingwood-Carlton Rand final, and all that that entails for our society, played a major role for about twenty minutes. The atmosphere was like an early 80s Princes Park gig. But then the fever broke, the red drink was gone and the Lions got to work. Carlton had the crowd, double the 1950s and the smell of history around them. Brisbane had Keidean ‘Kiddy’ Coleman, his drill eye, pencil moustache, cobalt blue boots and deadly left boot.
The Blues now have to ride that wave again. After a tough opening task against the Lions, their draw remains open for several months. But keeping Sam Walsh and Jacob Weitering on the park will be key to their season.
Seventh – Brisbane
No one left the MCG on grand final day with anything other than admiration for the Lions. So many non-MCG tenants dipped their toes at the big dance. A slip here, a questionable advantage call there, and it was taken away from them.
Chris Fagan says the same things every September. We will get better every year. We will solve the problems. We will learn lessons’. Our path to success will fail. Every year it feels like the rest of us are saying, “this is their best chance.” They are always competitive. They are always difficult to throw at the Gabba. And they improve year after year. They have won more than fourteen games for five years in a row. They have won 42 of the past 47 at the Gabba, and all 13 last year. I think they are due for a little correction, but they deserve another chance.
Sixth – Melbourne
Melbourne has had six months of ‘what ifs’. What if Caleb Marchbank had filed his fingernails? What if they had cast their eyes on Collingwood? What if Angus Brayshaw hadn’t passed out? What if Clayton Oliver wasn’t in disarray? What if they had kicked straight?
They let the Oliver story get out of hand. Instead of throwing a hose at the fire, the strategy seemed to be to stand in front of it and spray the word “culture” dozens of times. In football the word has been pulverized and become redundant. They are the new ‘lessons’.
Goodwin calls them a blue-collar team. They defend from the high ground. They patrol and gobble. They fight like angry ants. But their connection to their attackers needs to be patched up. There are too many blasters in that midfield. If you do that well and keep Gawn intact, this remarkably consistent team can challenge again.
Fifth – Fremantle
In the summer of 2022/2023 I had St Kilda as my mainstay and used them for the double chance. I then saw them in a practice match which was honestly the worst football match I have ever seen. The Saints won, but I relegated them about eight ladder positions.
Which brings me to Fremantle, who I’ve been playing with all summer. They were terrible in their practice match against Port Adelaide, with nasty, creeping ball movements and limited forward options. Jesus, I thought, nothing has changed.
However, I stand my ground, perhaps foolishly. The Dockers had four players in the Under 22 team of the year, the most of any club, including Luke Jackson and Jye Amiss, who both sat out the friendly. They were beaten around the ball too often last year but have changed their mix in midfield. The talent is there, but they need to change the way they move the ball. If that doesn’t work, Justin Longmuir will be the coach under the most pressure.
Fourth – St Kilda
Ross Lyon squeezed every bit of skill out of the Saints last year, but the elimination final was an abrupt end – and a reality check. It was 6th versus 7th, but they were in different competitions. The Giants went into hyperdrive and St Kilda stood revealed.
The Saints are watertight and conceded fewer points than anyone else last year, including the highly rated backlines of Melbourne and Collingwood. But it’s a fairly simple, one-paced midfield and Lyon knows that. They were the 15th most powerful team, which was the story of his career.
Lyon didn’t have much to work with, however, as Tim Membrey and Max King only played together twice. Now that those two are fit and healthy, he has an abundance of pace and good ball users in the half back. The second season is often a good period for Lyon-coached teams, and he hopes this list can finally emerge from footy’s mid-table.
Third – Port Adelaide
Whenever I look at Port Adelaide I think of the pre-2022 Chris Scott teams that were always in the mix but never quite good enough, of seasons that showed enormous promise but in September in about a quarter of the time went up. o’clock.
It is sometimes believed that Port are an older team and this is their last chance at a flag. But they were actually the youngest of the eight teams in the first final round and were defeated by two excellent teams. They were ruined by injuries and problems in the backline, but it was the midfield that let them down.
Port has recruited well and seems to have a very good appeal in the first few months. They will have an excellent midfield, but their challenge will be to stop the leakage to the back.
Second – Collingwood
In this competition you are always vulnerable. Geelong won two finals by a total of 23 goals and were miles behind the following year. And this Collingwood team still has holes and vulnerabilities.
There is always hatred for Collingwood. For all the loyalty and madness they inspire, there is double the desire for them to fall into a heap. Okay, well done, your coach is a gem, your team is great to watch, you have your flag, now go back to being a damned club for a few decades, thank you very much.
The Magpies would never do a Hawthorn at the end of 2008 and stagger back to training. Nick Daicos doesn’t exactly present himself as the kind of young man who goes on a summer binge and indulges himself in suet. “Save room for more tattoos,” McRae told his players in the best and fairest way possible. One is never enough. They want more. It’s like a medicine. The question remains: how long can they continue this highwire act?
Premiers – GWS
In 2023, Adam Kingsley needed a few months to master his favorite style and adapt to the stress of his job. But the season is long and it suited a list like theirs. They stuck to their style. You could see them coming from the back of the field, picking off stragglers one by one. In September their nostrils were wide open. They were exactly the kind of team you didn’t want to sign.
The Giants are still dirty and let the preliminary final slip. She sprayed a lot of kicks, missed some very doable chances, was well beaten at stoppages and had to deal with some interesting referees. Kingsley spent his first pre-season teaching the playing list and his assistants. This time they have added to their list. They haven’t upgraded. They are confident and ready to take the next step, and I’m inclined to agree.