Welcome to the new world. At first glance that looks a bit like the old world. There may be a new and exceptionally wealthy sheriff in town. But even with an FA Cup win in midweek, Manchester United have seized the opportunity in recent days to return to a more familiar state of disarray.
Erik ten Hag talks about TikTok videos, with all the easy control of your uncle learning Latin and trying to understand grime music. The new Marcus Rashford has fallen (themes: pain and longing; mentions of trying hard or supporting the manager: zero).
Related: ‘How nice’: Pep Guardiola is enjoying three title-defining games for City
A visit to the Etihad, now also known as The Perch, looms on Sunday afternoon and despite all the concerted reporting there is still the feeling of an institution that has a habit of reveling in its own inner self.
At this point it will be tempting to look away from the mundane and towards the medium-term future. Sir Jim Ratcliffe made one thing abundantly clear during his round of exposé interviews last week. He is especially good at giving revealing interviews. So good that his skills extend to an astonishing ability to say the exact same thing to timid people in different rooms.
So Manchester United’s new minority owner told the BBC: “It’s not about flipping a light switch. We need to walk to the right solution and not run to the wrong solution.” Later, Ratcliffe would inform the national press that “it’s not a light switch. We don’t want to run to the wrong solution, but to the right solution.” Finally, he was able to reassure the internal media channel, which may still be in a state of anxiety at this point, by saying that “it’s not a light switch, we can’t just flip a switch.”
The script was comprehensive in every way, from the word-for-word story of United’s origins, to the stadium-related politics of North-South cultural bias, which was repeated verbatim, and of course the keynote of these briefings, the issue of the perches.
“I’d like nothing more than to knock them both off their spots,” was followed by the BBC mix – “I’d like to knock them all off their spots” – and the club’s website “of course we’d like to knock them off their place”.
This is not a criticism in any way. As I present your letter at the unveiling of a £1 billion investment: this is a good thing. It was all solid too, handspun stuff, hot buttons, key notes, Ferguson mnemonics, Stone Roses guitar jangle. After decades of silence and grumpy official communications, it appears that super-slick public relations is also part of the new deal.
It does leave a trace. Since these lines are planned, they also demand that we take them at face value, that the standard text also tells us something. Deciphering Sir Jim’s corporate message: There are two key takeaways with that derby game in mind.
First, what does that pre-moderated script actually tell us about Ten Hag’s position? Not very good things, is the obvious answer. When asked to pass judgment on Ten Hag, Ratcliffe gave the triple answer that it would be “inappropriate” to comment, which – imagine this is your own ruthlessly tough boss speaking – is in itself a sign seems.
It doesn’t take great insight to see that this is an organization whose key skill is using its own people and finding margins in recruitment. That choosing a new head coach is the most obvious lever to improve performance, almost part of the company mission. But Ratcliffe still spoke about Ten Hag between the lines and outlined a very clear structure for retention or dismissal.
It was repeatedly said that Manchester United needed to qualify for the Champions League this season; For the avoidance of doubt, between the conversations about the need to hire the best people. The message is simple. Get into the top four, if the top five allows it, and Ten Hag can keep his job. It seems we are falling short and there was also some brusque talk about the key ability to make ‘bold’ decisions.
It still can’t be enough. The playing style was a big topic of discussion, along with the idea: horn alert! – of a romping, gambling spring lamb style as part of the marketing plan. The negative part of the ledger also showed a vague picture of recent hires. Was this the manager’s fault? “I’m thinking more about getting recruitment in a good place in the future.” Hence perhaps the sound of taking up defensive positions, of Ten Hag speaking midweek about the ‘unstoppable’ Antonius, a leap into the unknown that even the Unstoppable Antonius himself might find difficult to bridge.
The message seems clear. United must chase Tottenham and Aston Villa to offer any hope of maintaining the current coaching setup. Three of their last twelve league games have been against Manchester City, Liverpool and Arsenal. Defeat at the Etihad could leave them 11 points behind Villa in fourth place.
None of this is made easier by the fact that the Perch thing was chock full of surprisingly strong language about enemies, and the phrase – look away, please Erik – “I just want to smash them on the football field”.
Once again, this plays the hits for the fans, dispelling Glazer’s indifference. But it is hardly an ideal pre-match sound against opponents who have beaten United five times in the last six times (aggregate score 18-7). Pep Guardiola will not stick Sir Big Jim’s video message on the dressing room wall before kick-off. Instead, he will provide a very detailed, data-driven briefing on half-spaces. But that gap is so wide that even the three-season time frame seems hopeful.
Of course, the base itself is more of a remote plateau, a mountain fortress of a boundlessly ambitious sovereign wealth fund. Is this actually possible? It took Fenway Sports Group eight years with Liverpool to catch up, and three years with Jürgen Klopp, the absolutely perfect appointment, to make that leap. Abu Dhabi did it in five years of heavy spending, then two years with Pep to go completely nuclear. Manchester United have had six years under Alex Ferguson, buoyed by a significant increase in revenue.
On the plus side, there are plans to address the three very obvious issues. The presence of moderate internal appointments in important positions. A terrible transfer record. And the underperforming stadium, an essential part of financial fair play. The rivalry talk is also a cover for a very sensible attempt at imitation. The hard details of the Ratcliffe tapes suggest an attempt to emulate the City model, from a partially publicly funded stadium to the best people in the right jobs, to the style of play and to quiet regeneration talk.
There are even more obstacles. Particularly Guardiola himself, who remains the absolute alpha of management and now operates in an arena of total clarity. The window for every other team in the Premier League remains the same: whenever Guardiola leaves the set.
The other problem is about scale. Ratcliffe is the perfect frontman. He also owns 27.7% of the club and bases his ability to take the Glazers on “a fair amount of trust, I think, between those two parties”. In one of his rare unscripted moments, Ratcliffe revealed that he had only actually met Joel and Avram Glazer. “As long as we do the right things, I’m sure the relationship will go very well.” Onwards, to The Perch.