A dad described as ‘the life and soul of the party’ died after sending a heartbreaking text message to his partner.
Kevin Sholicar, from Ormskirk, tragically took his own life on Saturday, April 27, leaving behind his parents, two younger brothers, two half-sisters, his partner of 18 years and their two daughters, aged 10 and 14. Kevin, who had his two daughters on vacation in the weeks leading up to his death, had struggled with mental health for much of his adult life, according to his father.
On April 27, Kev’s partner received a heartbreaking text message from the father of her children saying “Please come save me.” Kevin’s father, John Sholicar, said Kev’s partner called emergency services and performed CPR shortly after arriving at the home where he was staying.
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John, 57, said: “WHe thought it was a cry for help that went wrong because he texted his partner ‘please come and save me’ and left the door open for her.”
His father has paid an emotional tribute to his beloved son. He said: “I watch videos of him and I laugh and cry because there are videos of him laughing and joking. He laughed and joked with everyone, he loved everyone.
“He was always the life of the party, he was such a great friend, I have videos of him joking in the [work] van with his best friend, Andy. He always took care of his grandmother, he would do anything for anyone and loved his girls [his two daughters]. He was so loved, loved and respected, he always had a smile and a laugh.
‘It was just earlier [today] that I came back from walking our dogs – I inherited his German Shepherd – and my wife was in tears because Jamie Webster was on the radio, he loved his songs. He used to sing it all the time and you can imagine him singing along. And Mardy Bum from the Artic Monkeys – he loved music.
“He also loved Phil Collins. I remember once getting a text from him saying, ‘I love him because of you. I’m only half the man I am because of you, you’re my hero dad. ‘ He was an absolute character and he was loved by everyone. I remember him dancing at the girls’ dance school exhibition one year, it was the dads as the men in black and he pulled out his signature dance at the end, the worm. ., he always wanted to make people laugh.”
John hopes his son’s story can raise awareness about men’s mental health. He encourages people to speak up when they are struggling, even if they think they are doing better. He said: “What happened when Kev took his life was a cry for help. His partner arrived within fifteen minutes of the text message being sent. It was very traumatic.
“I want to raise awareness about men’s mental health, if this could happen to a young 35-year-old man. Kev was on his way up, he had been working, so it kind of came out of nowhere that he took his own life.
“He had recently been on holiday with the kids – he took the girls on holiday where they swam with dolphins, went karting, that was just a few weeks ago. He had been going through a bad spell but it looked like we were on our way up. It was like something changed in his brain. He had everything to live for, two girls, 14 and 10, everything looked good.
“I want to encourage people to talk when they’re going through a hard time. Maybe you’re having some problems and you might think you’re doing fine, then something changes in your brain. There was a switch in his head for a moment where he didn’t thinking about all the people he would hurt who loved him.
“Mental health can just take over when you think you’re over the worst. It doesn’t take much for mental health to come back and get you. Even when you think you’re back on track, should continue to have your support. I’m currently wearing his band that says, ‘It’s okay to talk.'”
John says his son’s legacy has been able to live on thanks to being an organ donor; his organs have helped many other people. He said: “Kev was an organ donor, he helped so many people. We want to make people aware of becoming an organ donor – just one eye can help four people – organs can offer so many people a better way of life. And now he has helped so many people.
“It gives us enormous comfort to know that he has helped so many people. It’s a legacy, that’s his legacy. And this is the kind of person he was, he would help anyone. He was a wonderful son. And now he is too. live in others.
“It’s such a thoughtful process for everyone involved, even the family. You get messages from someone whose life you saved, which is wonderful.”
Kevin’s best friend, Andy Noone, has set up a GoFundMe page on behalf of the family. All money raised will go towards helping his two daughters in the future and a donation will be made to men’s mental health charities. You can donate to the fundraiser here.
Mental health support
Helplines and support groups
Below are helplines and support networks that people can talk to, usually listed on the NHS Choices website
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Samaritans (116 123) has a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you feel, or are worried about being overheard on the phone, email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
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CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It has a UK helpline and web chat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, wants to talk or seek information and support.
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PANDAS (0808 1961 776) has a free helpline and offers support to people who may be suffering from perinatal mental illness, including antenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression, plus support for their family or network.
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Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in Great Britain. Calling is free and the number will not appear on your telephone bill.
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PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organization that supports teenagers and young adults who feel suicidal.
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Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity that provides advice and support to empower anyone with a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
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Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or have suicidal thoughts.
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Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.
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Amparo provides emotional and practical support to anyone affected by suicide. This includes dealing with police and coroners; assist with media inquiries; preparing for and attending an inquest and helping to access other appropriate local support services. Call 0330 088 9255 or visit www.amparo.org.uk for more information.
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Hub of Hope is the most comprehensive national mental health database in the UK. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text SHOUT to 85258 to find relevant services near you.
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Young Persons Advisory Service – Providing mental health and emotional wellbeing services for children, young people and families in Liverpool. tel: 0151 707 1025 email: support@ypas.org.uk
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Paul’s Place – offers free counseling and group sessions to anyone living in Merseyside who has lost a family member or friend to suicide. Tel: 0151 226 0696 or email: paulsplace@beaconcounsellingtrust.co.uk
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The Martin Gallier Project – provides personal support to people considering suicide and their families. Opening hours 9:30 am – 4:30 pm, 7 days a week. Tel: 0151 644 0294 email: triage@gallierhouse.co.uk
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James’ Place – supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 Monday to Friday between 9:30am and 5:30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/
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