‘FIELD OF NIGHTMARES
Another week of shame and desgracia as Manchester United finish at Anfield, an engagement their fans enjoy in the way they would expect a root canal operation without anesthesia. Liverpool giving Erik ten Hag’s men a great hockey game is one of the most likely outcomes. Last season the score was 7-0. It could have been many more, as a result of United bursting the bubble as BACK. The week before, Ten Hag had recreated the Okocha/Allardyce shuffle with Antony and Lisandro Martínez as he lifted the Milk Cup. What followed on Merseyside was a less slow puncture than a gouging with a rusty wrench.
The last United manager to win at Anfield was Louis van Gaal, who could teach Ten Hag a thing or two, judging by Ajax’s revival since the Dutch master was hired as an advisor; Brian “Mr” Brobbey scores the goals. Van Gaal won there twice, but that was a different Liverpool, from the dog days of Brendan Rodgers and the early days of Jürgen Klopp. Nowadays Klopp is building Liverpool 2.0 and everything is going quite well. His team enters the weekend top of the league, benefiting from Aston Villa beating both Manchester City and Arsenal. Klopp is not exactly greeting his team’s progress with celebratory cheers. Instead, he snaps at everyone, making hoarse laughs at his own jokes that are in short supply, putting down hacks for asking him about kick-off times, and celebrating dramatic winners with Pep Lijnders in the style of victorious barbarians, breast-feeding each other delivering thrusts and guttural sounds into each other’s faces with complete alpha male excitement.
The strange thing about this season is that it is probably Pep Guardiola who is enjoying it the most and keeping the number of ‘wow, boys’ as high as ever. Crystal Palace and Roy Hodgson, who wrote the literary novel about the post-match grumbling with last week’s efforts, are Guardiola’s guests this week. Mikel Arteta should have a smile on his face, an independent jury agreeing that he did not know the meaning of a certain word – “I believe this is nothing more than a clever display by a KC than a fair outcome, ” sighed Ref Support UK Chief Prosecutor Martin Cassidy. Skipping an FA complaint, the one-man crusade for better VAR and Arsenal results continues.
After slipping from the top last weekend, the Gunners meet Brighton and Roberto De Zerbi, another of Howard Webb’s regulars, just after a famous night at Big Vase. There is a good chance of some sideline reports. All good, clean fun. But what about the ultimate sideline performer, Unai Emery, whose technical moves often resemble Roy Castle during a Guinness world record tap dancing attempt? Villa’s mad train disembarks at Brentford for a session of hard presses, half-spaces and high lines. Keep smiling, everyone. It’s Christmas out there in the world.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm GMT for exciting minute-by-minute Premier League coverage of Nottingham Forest 0-0 Tottenham.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It would be foolish to take away a tool that can remove obvious errors from the game – almost forty this season. Typically, we have seen around 100 situations resolved through the use of VAR. Why would you want to take that away and leave those mistakes in the game?” – replies to a postcard to Howard Webb c/o Stockley Park.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
If there are ‘at least 36 master’s degrees in football management on offer in Britain’, as Mick Beeby suggests (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), then perhaps Todd Boehly should take all the students on eight-year contracts so they can do something write off. or something else (accounting isn’t my thing, or even vaguely interesting to be honest), to help the club. Although the manager would probably still come back to him and ask for more from them” – Noble Francis.
I really like the idea of posting questions for Masters candidates in Football Management. Let’s make the following even simpler: ‘Handball. Explain…’” – Mike Wilner.
Thank you for reminding this Blackburn Rovers fan of our inglorious Big Cup campaign which saw us finish bottom of our group in 1995-96 (yesterday’s Football Daily). At least we got to fight!” –John Myles.
Send any letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. The winner of today’s letter is… John Myles, who will receive a copy of Reign of the Lionesses, published by Pitch Publishing. Visit their brilliant football bookshop here.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Millwall have submitted a proposal to rename their stadium in honor of former owner and chairman John Berylson, who died in July.
Top female footballers with an ACL injury are more likely to have played more matches, had less rest and traveled further with their teams than their colleagues, a new study has found.
More than 140 supporters have been arrested in Amsterdam for vandalizing the city’s subway before their 3-1 Big Vase win over AEK Athens. Mayor Femke Halsema called the nuisance “a blemish on an exciting football evening that the Ajax fans enjoyed immensely”.
Erling Haaland’s skill is likely to keep him out of Manchester City’s Fantasy Football squad for their match against Crystal Palace, and he is also likely to miss the first Club World Cup match in Saudi Arabia. “It’s not a break, it’s stress,” sniffed Pep Guardiola. “We have to take it day by day.”
Newcastle manager Eddie Howe believes this is a time to support rather than criticize his suddenly struggling players and reminded fans – and no doubt his employers – that the Saudi-owned club is “miles ahead of schedule”.
Roy Hodgson will continue to challenge controversial decisions by referees, but has great sympathy for whistleblowers trying to implement changes that have been ‘done to us’. “We are [not] consulted enough when it comes to so-called rule changes and interpretations,” the Crystal Palace manager ranted.
Wayne Rooney has stressed the importance of him and his Birmingham players ignoring the ‘Wagatha Christie’ backdrop for Monday’s match against Leicester. “I think the most important thing is that we don’t get swept up in a sideshow,” he barked. “My job is to concentrate on Birmingham trying to win the game.”
And by the time you read this, ordinary Sunderland could be Mick Beale’s Sunderland.
LARGE ‘BRITISH’ VASE
Good news for British fans of the coefficient: Liverpool, West Ham, Brighton and – you’ll like this – Rangers (!) finished first in their group and waltzed straight into the last 16. They were salutary scenes on the south coast as the Seagulls enjoyed a lap of honor after their 1-0 win over Marseille which sealed top spot in Group B. “I think this is the best moment of my time [at Brighton]”, croaked De Zerbi. “I have lost my voice, I have lost everything.” The Hammers, meanwhile, put their 5-0 thrashing of Fulham behind them as they smashed Freiburg into second place with a 2-0 win and Liverpool let the toddlers have a run-out in Belgium, losing 2-1 to SG Union in a match. that was about as meaningful as a Christmas card from your broadband provider.
DO YOU WANT MORE?
Prime Minister. Competition. Ten. Stuff. You know the score.
How Bournemouth became the premier team in the Premier League. By Sam Tighe.
Improving Spurs aims to put a dent in Arsenal’s WSL title ambitions, writes Sophie Downey.
Rafa Benitez is trying to stem the bleeding after his triumphant Celta transfer became an exercise in survival. By Sid Lowe.
Sean Dyche has strengthened Everton but he will forever be Burnley royalty, writes Will Unwin.
And here’s Jacob Steinberg on Raúl Jiménez – a man transformed as free-scoring Fulham climbed the table.
MEMORY LONG
Merseyside rivals on the pitch, but off it they are good friends: Everton boss Howard Kendall and Liverpool colleague Kenny Dalglish pull off a Christmas cracker in December 1985.